I grew up in a very traditional church where God was highly exalted and approached at all times with a sense of awe, majesty, and a high sense of sacredness. Nothing wrong with that.
However, over the years, I got this internalized impression that God was way up there and that if my relationship with Him didn't revolve around this sense of the sacred and official ways of doing things, then it wasn't an authentic spiritual experience.
While this may not have been the explicit intention of the church as I was growing up, I think it's where it comes down on the personal level, where the rubber hits the road, that makes the heart of true, authentic spirituality and ultimately, our personal relationship with Papa God.
Over the last couple of years, I've changed the way that I've thought about what God is like. As I've written before, I think He rather likes having me around and would rather that I run and jump into His lap than to go through the drama of bows, thee's, and thou's followed by do's and don'ts, and then let us not forget the required penitence to get back into the good graces of someone who wants me to perform right...
What if God is always accessible, even when I'm sinning? That's still a crazy thought to me. What if He's always there to be what I need Him to be, which is Himself as He really is? What if I can always count on Him to be unconditionally loving and relentlessly kind to me in all situations? What if I can always count on Him to be eternally cheerful, happy, and pleased? Not in a prozac type of way...but because He is so eternally secure in Himself and in me because He's not dependent on me in any way?
I may not have all my I's dotted and T's crossed in theological doctrine and understanding the scriptures...I may not have all the "sin" in my life under control, I may not be mature in the areas of modifying my behavior to meet others' expectations, but dammit, I'm alive! And it is the life that flows only from relationship with the Father as He is and without projecting onto Him some kind of religious pretentiousness. That reminds me of something I heard a while ago: How do you know Father is speaking? If it brings LIFE, then it's Him.
I've started to cultivate a relationship with a God who is always there, and it's pretty fantastic. He isn't angry with me when I forget Him and doesn't despise me when I come back to Him after not spending enough "quiet time" throughout the week. He's not disappointed and doesn't want me to feel guilty about not holding up my end of the stick. What if there is no stick to hold up? What if the stick is only a religious prop, raised by the expectations of institutions and our sick, twisted, performance beliefs, to rob us of the gift of the righteousness of Christ which we have been freely given?
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Comments (9)
This is fabulous. It makes me want to go run and jump in His lap now.
Thanks a lot! I believe that a lot of us have grown up with a bogus view of God! God is Great, but we can have access to Him! Praise the Lord! Keep it up!!!
Incredibly insightful post ... thanks for sharing your journey IN Christ!
God bless!
Bernie
I grew up in a church that made God distant and indifferent. But i've come to know a God that is completely enamored with me in my every movement and word. One who waits to hear my voice in the day and cannot wait to sing over me. One that is closer than my next breath.
Thanks for reminding me that nothing can separate me from intimacy with God except for my self. Have a good night. ~Lauren
He is accessible! And so loving to each of us personally. Thanks for the testimony and the reminder.
i absolutely love this comment: <>
THAT is how i see God!!!!
That is so true. God is present, loves us, and will even correct us if we are off course. He wants intimate relationship with Him, not rote ceremonies.
Heather
Sounds like good progress to me. May you always be able to jump in His lap.
i always have to remind myself that God wants me to want to spend time with Him, not to fulfill some kind of expectation that i have of myself, or that i think others have of me, but simply because He's come right out and said: "Kid, I love you"
over the years, my prayer has bee "Lord, change me"
now i realize that that was driven by pride and ego - wanting other people to see and praise the change in me.
but it's not about that.
it is and always has been about God.
we grow in faith as we give glory to God (- Genesis and Romans, Abraham)
not as we focus on growing in faith.