adventure_coach's Xanga

Doing some Soul-Searching?

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 02:44:24 GMT

Many of us in our mid to late 20's (and older) may remember the movie, "The Never Ending Story." It was a classic where these kids saved this dream world by riding around on a giant flying dog whose ears flapped in the air...and then there was "The Nothing" which destroyed the world and made it into, well...nothing. Some parts of the movie just downright freaked me out. (mainly the flying dog because close up you could see the bumps in his skin)

It seems like there are certain parallels in life that I can relate to that movie. One thing in particular is the search for "the right fit." (in a round-about way) Whether its looking for the right job, the right house to live in, the right school to go to, or even the right mate. It's like we've taken this idea of perfection and have made it attainable and ubiquitous at the same time. The fact is we never really get there and it scares the shit out of us.

In our post-modern society, we have come to embrace the idea of the individual above the corporate, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. We were all created as individuals to have our own dreams, unique things that are a part of us that no one else has ever had or will have for eternity. All the while, each individual is meant to fit in to society, and to make up a giant corporate body rather than a collection of individuals. The glorification of the individual is a great thing because it reflects the intention with which all of us were made. I think God likes to celebrate each one of us as His kids, He loves us that much yeah? We have come to celebrate ourselves as individuals, but after all the partying we realize that we only half-way know ourselves, if even that.

The bleak fact is that our experience is often contrary to the perfection that we long for, which leads to cynicism and doubting that it'll ever really happen. We forego relationships, put off our dreams, and develop systems of procrastination, because, in our hearts, we don't really believe that it'll work out.

That soul-job may never be attained. If we're looking for our soul-mate, we may forget that regardless of who we end up with it's going to be a process that goes decades into marriage. It seems like my never-ending story is the search for the soul...and looking for it in a job, mate, house, geographic location, or activities, which may be a piece of it, but in the end I think there's something more to it than what we're doing, who we're with, or where we're at.

The inescapable nothing could be two things. First, it can be the destructive force of the world that eats your soul alive. Second, it can be that part of us inside where our souls are already half-chewed and partially digested that we have to fight for to recover and rebuild. This second part wants to remain dead, because it only knows fear, which is the absence of unconditional love.

(to be continued...)

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:14:31 GMT

I grew up in a very traditional church where God was highly exalted and approached at all times with a sense of awe, majesty, and a high sense of sacredness. Nothing wrong with that.

However, over the years, I got this internalized impression that God was way up there and that if my relationship with Him didn't revolve around this sense of the sacred and official ways of doing things, then it wasn't an authentic spiritual experience.

While this may not have been the explicit intention of the church as I was growing up, I think it's where it comes down on the personal level, where the rubber hits the road, that makes the heart of true, authentic spirituality and ultimately, our personal relationship with Papa God.

Over the last couple of years, I've changed the way that I've thought about what God is like. As I've written before, I think He rather likes having me around and would rather that I run and jump into His lap than to go through the drama of bows, thee's, and thou's followed by do's and don'ts, and then let us not forget the required penitence to get back into the good graces of someone who wants me to perform right...

What if God is always accessible, even when I'm sinning? That's still a crazy thought to me. What if He's always there to be what I need Him to be, which is Himself as He really is? What if I can always count on Him to be unconditionally loving and relentlessly kind to me in all situations? What if I can always count on Him to be eternally cheerful, happy, and pleased? Not in a prozac type of way...but because He is so eternally secure in Himself and in me because He's not dependent on me in any way?

I may not have all my I's dotted and T's crossed in theological doctrine and understanding the scriptures...I may not have all the "sin" in my life under control, I may not be mature in the areas of modifying my behavior to meet others' expectations, but dammit, I'm alive! And it is the life that flows only from relationship with the Father as He is and without projecting onto Him some kind of religious pretentiousness. That reminds me of something I heard a while ago: How do you know Father is speaking? If it brings LIFE, then it's Him.

I've started to cultivate a relationship with a God who is always there, and it's pretty fantastic. He isn't angry with me when I forget Him and doesn't despise me when I come back to Him after not spending enough "quiet time" throughout the week. He's not disappointed and doesn't want me to feel guilty about not holding up my end of the stick. What if there is no stick to hold up? What if the stick is only a religious prop, raised by the expectations of institutions and our sick, twisted, performance beliefs, to rob us of the gift of the righteousness of Christ which we have been freely given?

The Quarter Life Crisis is a new term that describes the restlessness and floundering as we try to transition into the "real world" as an adult. Doubt replaces confidence, anxiety in place of courage, and confusion instead of direction. Please visit the Quarter Life Crisis Life Coach at http://www.scioncoaching.org Learn to thrive in a world that often relegates us to only surviving.

Take the Quarter Life Crisis-Adventure survey

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:09:35 GMT

Hello fellow Xanga-ers, I am conducting a survey on 20-somethings regarding their experience, and perhaps a way to help resolve, the Quarter Life Crisis. Although we're trying to get a sample of 20-something, even if you are past your 20's your input would still be valuable! The project that I am working on is for an Outdoor Education administration and management class at Montreat College and this survey is part of the project proposal for my group. I have created a survey on surveymonkey.com, the link is pasted below.

I'm trying to get this out to as many people as possible so that we can have a good understanding of the needs, wants, and values of our generation today. The project that we are proposing is an Outward Bound-type expedition on the Appalachian Trail/ or perhaps an alternate trail in the West. It could last anywhere from 4-16 days depending on the trip. The way that our project would differ from other wilderness expedition groups is that:

1. We are seeking to combine elements of life-coaching into facilitating the outdoor experience in order to enhance the process of self-discovery. The coaching will be done by an experienced Quarter Life Crisis Coach.

2. We believe the "spiritual journey" is as important, if not more important, in the process of further establishing our identity in the post-modern world. We will seek to build an atmosphere of mutual respect among people, engender an atmosphere of growth in this often neglected (by outdoor programing) dimension of life by asking questions, small group discussion, and a curriculum depending on the appropriateness for the group.

Thanks in advance for your time in helping us with our project!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=7m7JFEbKkmvvvPrtOeAMqA_3d_3d

Take the Quarter Life Crisis-Adventure survey

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:08:33 GMT

Hello fellow Xanga-ers, I am conducting a survey on 20-somethings regarding their experience, and perhaps a way to help resolve, the Quarter Life Crisis. The project that I am working on is for an Outdoor Education administration and management class at Montreat College and this survey is part of the project proposal for my group. I have created a survey on surveymonkey.com, the link is pasted below.

I'm trying to get this out to as many people as possible so that we can have a good understanding of the needs, wants, and values of our generation today. The project that we are proposing is an Outward Bound-type expedition on the Appalachian Trail/ or perhaps an alternate trail in the West. It could last anywhere from 4-16 days depending on the trip. The way that our project would differ from other wilderness expedition groups is that:

1. We are seeking to combine elements of life-coaching into facilitating the outdoor experience in order to enhance the process of self-discovery. The coaching will be done by an experienced Quarter Life Crisis Coach.

2. We believe the "spiritual journey" is as important, if not more important, in the process of further establishing our identity in the post-modern world. We will seek to build an atmosphere of mutual respect among people, engender an atmosphere of growth in this often neglected (by outdoor programing) dimension of life by asking questions, small group discussion, and a curriculum depending on the appropriateness for the group.

Thanks in advance for your time in helping us with our project!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=7m7JFEbKkmvvvPrtOeAMqA_3d_3d

I've Been Found Out!

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 02:04:40 GMT

I was quite troubled this morning as I sat on a couch at church.

I've been progressing towards serving others as a life coach for burned out and frustrated Christians, of which, I believe, there are quite a few. I also have a passion for working with young adults in the throes of the Quarter Life Crisis, although I still have lots of QLC moments myself.

There are a lot of young people with big dreams these days, and I think I'm one of them. We're the ones who are walking off the map. It's supposed to be a walk of faith that also looks for an internal compass rather than the step by step guide to an Americanized sense of accomplishment in the spiritual or the physical. A lot of times, instead of a walk of faith, it seems like a death-march of procrastination, waiting, and groaning.

Part of it, I think, is this American idea that we have to be famous in order to truly be successful. So we get in this place of thinking that we're really great and have some great ideas (that much is true), but we have to do a lot of clever marketing and get really lucky in order to get found out. I read a great book by Robert Bly called, "The Sibling Society," where he elaborated on this idea of American grandiosity and our over-fascination with celebrities. We get this idea that if we are not well-known and have our own talk show appearance, then we are not really loved. If we're not really loved, then we're really not worth that much anyway.

It occurred to me today, that I'm already famous in the Kingdom and that God's already discovered me, and I thought, "that's pretty cool." That makes me feel loved. He's the captain of the fan club and loves to cheer me on more than anything. He doesn't want me to procrastinate, because that comes from doubt and negative thinking. He wants me to be the person I was designed to be, not a scared little boy groveling on the floor. Even when I am that scared little boy, paralyzed with fear, He's pulling out His wallet, opening it up, and looking at my picture and has a big goofy smile on His face. I believe that God believes in me, and that blows my mind because most of the time, I don't believe in me.

He knows who I really am, when I am pretending that I'm someone else.
He calls out the good in me, because He put it in there.
He's holding His breath in expectation, waiting for the next step...
He's found me out, and likes what He sees
He has a big goofy smile when He looks at me (not a look of exasperation)

Meeting God as He is...the coolest guy ever.

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 11:19:24 GMT

I recently wrote a blog about the sermon "Sinner's in the Hands of an Angry God" and spoke of how it burned an imprint in my mind of a God who is angry with sin and how it made me feel, and think, about God. I think a lot of people misinterpreted what I was trying to say.

I do believe that God is angry sometimes, but I don't know how to explain it other than it's not the way we associate anger with performance. He's never disappointed in us, because we have Christ's righteousness to stand for our performance. How can He become disappointed at perfection? Jesus says, "Be Holy...unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees." Perhaps what He's getting at in these places is our need for a new covenant with Him, and through Him to be one with Him and the Father. We are now found in Christ (see Rom. 6 and Col. 3), in a way that we cannot be separated from Him.

God is love, and His Kingdom is built upon that one thing, not that Jesus died to simply allow us the freedom to be righteous and to stop sinning, but that He died so that we can enter into the same relationship with Abba that Jesus Himself had, as a righteous son, and not as a sinful servant.

We often confuse freedom from sin to mean that we have the freedom to control and manage our sin and to get ourselves into a nice and neat little package to make ourselves more attractive to God. (so that we can get more of Him, and then perform better, get closer so that we can perform even better...) Sin, in it's essence separates us from God. To be free from sin is to be free from being separated from God and His love, and to be able to begin experiencing Him now and forever.

How is it that we often act, feel, and believe that we must get closer to God, though, in fact, we aren't separated from Him and His love at all? How is it that when we sin we feel distant from God, when we're no farther away than we were before? We are infinitely close to a loving Papa. That is the truth...however it is not necessarily, our direct experience because our emotions, religiosity, fear-based nature, and performance mindsets ingrained from childhood tell us otherwise.

I read one guy respond to a similar blog by saying that God is not "love, love, love" but that He is "Holy, Holy, Holy." God is Holy, but Holiness and righteousness, I believe, are two different things. We associate holiness with righteousness because of "holiness doctrine" and expressions such as "holier than thou" and so on. I think holiness really means one who is "altogether different." It is something that we have absolutely no reference for here on earth, which is God's agape love. Fear is the operating system that we have used, our Matrix, if you will, since the fall. Now the Kingdom, which is "altogether different" is made of love and has no fear in it at all, and the only reference that we have for it is God Himself, who has poured His love into our hearts.

I shut down intuitively to manipulation of any kind. But someone who is interested in my heart, desires, vision, wants, fears, scars, and most of all is attracted to me for who I am, rather than what I'm not, I will run to Him at all times. God is not a manipulator looking for righteous performers, He's a lover looking for lovers. He's a heart man at His very core, and He's the coolest guy I've ever met.

What Do You Think About This?

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:40:52 GMT

Here's some of my story and how I have found God to be in my life...

Growing up, I had the impression that God was "way up there" and didn't really want to get too close to us on this side of eternity. I had the belief in a loving, yet distant, Holy God, who wanted our service. During my evangelical phase I thought that the more "good" that I do and try to be a "good Christian" then the closer I will get to God and being "righteous" like Him was the most important thing along with "saving the lost." I was at all times very sincere, yet as you can imagine it was very performance oriented and was very serious about trying to "control my sin."

I was oblivious to it before, because I was filtering the scriptures, and God Himself, through a performance lens; I now know that God is in His very essence Love (1 John 4:16) and not of the performance variety, but agape, which means no strings attached whatsoever. He loves me just as much when I am sinning as when I am righteous (though He does prefer us to be righteous). The death of Jesus, who I believe is fully human and fully God, was and is the exact representation of who God the Father is, created a new covenant with the Father, for us, on our behalf. I believe that we access that covenant relationship with the Father by faith, simply by believing, I am credited with the very righteous and perfect performance of Christ, including being entered into the same intimate relationship that He had with His Father, Abba (the Hebrew slang word for 'Daddy'). [Ezekiel 11 and Jeremiah 31 prophesy of this as does Isaiah 53, 60-62]. I believe that Christ's righteousness given to me cannot be improved upon, nor diminished, therefore my performance, sin, or failure to meet self (or church) imposed expectations has no bearing on what God thinks about me.

The best explanation that I heard of this was seen in the covenant that David (1 Samuel) made with his buddy Jonathan, such that he even honored it unto Johnathan's descendant Mephibosheth (2 Samuel 9) [understand that I see and understand things visually] and it was like Mephibosheth was inside (because he was a descendant) Jonathan when he made the covenant with David so he gets credited with the same covenant blessing.

It's the same way with Jesus, who I believe is the Messiah phrophesied since the Garden of Eden. Jesus made a covenant, through His death on the cross, with the Father on our behalf, and gave us the Holy Spirit of God to live in us, so that everyone who simply believes even with the weakest faith and by no merit of their own, is accepted as a son of the Father and gets to enjoy the relationship of a perfect loving Father. I have grown to know and experience God as my loving Father, my biggest fan and cheerleader, who, even with a glance from me has to turn away because it's too much (Song of Solomon 6:5). I believe that my destiny, along with the Church, though we're all far from perfect, is to be the bride of Jesus. God is fully capable to transform us into a bride that will be equally yoked with His Son, Jesus...but He'd rather wait for us to stumble forward than enforce any kind of change.

I absolutely believe that God, His love, and His relationship with me is experiential and that I can access it whenever I want. He does speak to me in my heart through the Spirit, it wouldn't be much of a relationship if He didn't. He's always loving, never turns me away, even when I'm completely screwed up, which is quite often. I don't believe that God wants us to cower before Him in fear but to run up to Him on the throne and jump on His lap. He calls me "the glorious one in whom is all of His delight."

He's absolutely non-religious and completely relational to me in every way. There's no religious hoops to jump through to get to Him whatsoever, in fact, I think that much of the religious hoopla hinders our intimacy with Father rather than helping it. I believe that He rather enjoys having me around, even as I struggle to love Him wholeheartedly, when in reality it's more like 1/10th of my heart on a good day. He's never disappointed, ashamed, or embarrassed by me and considers me His son even when I'm in the wrong. He carries around a picture of me in His wallet, shows it to everybody.

Ever felt betrayed?

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:36:54 GMT

Betrayal is one of those feelings that can eat you alive and can leave seemingly permanent scars on your heart. Many people that I know have felt betrayed by their primary relationships, fathers in particular. Others have been betrayed by lovers, friends, relatives, and co-workers.

I remember a time in my life when I even felt betrayed by the Church. All of my life, I'd been led to believe that there is a standard of acceptable behavior that is expected of me, and that there are certain things that I must do on a daily basis, or else I wouldn't be able to be as close to God as I would like to be. If I'm not close to God, then that means that my life will be a wreck, busting apart at the seams with sin and brokenness.

Expectations are built into the Church day in and day out by those who are compelled to protect and regulate the religious system. I used to be one of those kinds of people and I admit, I am a pharisee in recovery. I cared more about being right and making sure other people where right than what their story was. I cared more about being right than being relational with people, getting to know them, why they think the way they think, what circumstances conditioned them to act the way they do. Now I know why the homeless guy struggles with alcohol on a daily basis, he went to Vietnam, where most of his unit was killed. Knowing him and talking to him helps me to love him and get past my judgmental old-man that expects him to put it down. The truth is that I'd love for him to put down the bottle, but first I must love him where he is. The truth is that I love him where he is even if he never puts it down for the rest of his life. Every time that he's intoxicated will be that one less event between now and his freedom on the other side of eternity.

Expectations involve control and those who promote them are the controllers, as I used to be and still am on many occasions. Control has to do with power and the need for power has to do with fear. For Christians, as it was for me, it is the fear that God's love and intimacy is conditioned upon our being right in our theology, practices, works, and so on.

The need for control, and hence, expectations go back to the desire to felt stability. Everything in this world looks and feels unstable: gas prices, the economy, politics, society, ghettos, crime, the advertising media (you are not stable until you buy this fancy schmancy product right now...), jobs, quarter-life crisis, my crazy dog that runs away all the time, relationships, my crazy wacked out thoughts and emotions, bank accounts, stock markets, the scale that you step on every morning...

But is instability a feeling and emotion or is it reality? I would argue that it is not real. Instability comes from fear. In the Kingdom of Heaven, there is no fear because God's perfect love drives it out. Fear is something you experience, so God's love must also be experiential before it drives out fear. This means that God's experiential love, is not tied to expectations, performance, works, our current emotional state, the rightness of our theology (theology starts with God's love by the way, if we're to "think about God" the main reference is love, it is the only thing that will last (cf. 1 Cor. 13) and it is the expression of who God is (cf 1 Jn. 4:16)), the economy, or gas prices. God's love can even be experienced in the midst of sinning. If this was not the case, then Jesus did not finish His work on the cross and He didn't raise from the dead. If I were not crucified and resurrected, already, with Him then none of this would be true either. (cf Rom. 6) God exists in a state of absoluteness and with Him there is no middle ground. Either I am completely separated or I am one with Him (Jn. 15) as a vine is to a branch. What I experience of my closeness with Him certainly grows and my experience of the Kingdom coming to earth (in me) as it already is (in me seated in Christ (cf. col 3)) in Heaven.

It's a good life! Things aren't getting worse, they're getting better because the King and His Kingdom are coming. Even in my struggle to love God wholeheartedly, when in actuality it's more like 1/10 of my heart on a good day, I think even then He's so pleased. What if you never had to be afraid of what God thinks about you?

Adventure Coach is a budding life coach, using wilderness excursions, and meeting people one-on-one to help encourage true abundant life. If you are tired of feeling stuck in a place of transition within the religious status quo, please check out the website http://www.scioncoaching.org/
Sometimes it's good to have a helping hand in breaking the bondage of performing for God's love and entering an informal, non-performance based relationship with a loving Papa God, where you begin to experience true abundant life. As it is in Heaven, so shall it be here on earth.

Sinners in the Hands of a Really Cool God

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:32:45 GMT

All of my life, I think I have been plagued by this visual picture of "Sinners in the hands of an angry God." I think sometime, around 10th or 11th grade I was supposed to read that sermon by what's his name...I think I read it, but I was never really all that good at reading comprehension. (I'm much more of a visual person anyway and I understand and think about things in pictures rather than words a lot of times) After reading it, I had no idea what was said in the sermon, all that I could think about was this picture, burned into my mind, of God holding dirty sinners over the flames of Hell. How scary that still feels, that God would be angry enough to thump us around like that. It probably didn't help the whole visualization thing that the text book included a picture of God dangling this dude over a raging fire with other little stick figures being flung into eternal damnation.

I don't really want to admit it, but deep down, in my heart, I think about it everyday. That sermon scarred me for life, and I never really even read it. All it took was the title and I was hooked, fear was the bait. I'm afraid that I just can't get enough of the stuff, even when I know that the result is that I'll be wallowing in it, flopping around like a veritable fish out of water.

Something is seriously wrong here. I have thoughts about "angry God" all the time, but not once have I ever experienced Him that way. Graham Cooke says that we all need a revelation of an attribute of God's character and that for him, it's His kindness. I think for me, God has shown Himself to be incredibly cool.

I was never one of the cool kids in school, I was the outcast and reject much of the time, at least, that's how it felt. I think most of the time, I'd reject myself if I could...and I think that just about everybody is really in the same boat, whether they admit it, or even know it, or not. I don't really believe that God is angry, but I sure do have those thoughts that are deeply engraved. I know it's not the truth but I sure do act like it-- on the inside.

What, then, do I really believe? I believe that even if He could leave me, He wouldn't. He rather likes it when I'm around. In fact, He finds me irresistible and quite cute. I don't really get it, but I'm getting better at receiving it. I believe He would rather have me sitting on His lap on the throne than groveling at His feet. I believe that the way He feels about me doesn't change, even when I screw up, and that He'll gladly take the bad with the good.

I'd like to just take a second and invite you to celebrate the launching of my website with me! It's been a long time in the making and many dreams becoming unshaken. Life coaching is a long-term dream of mine, especially for those experiencing the Quarter Life Crisis and spiritual burnout, both of which I have had much experience with myself. http://www.scioncoaching.org is the main site and there will be a separate page for spiritual growth and transformation (but I don't think it's quite up yet) I like that this coincides with Independence Day and the message of Freedom because that is so much the heart of the Father is bringing real, tangible freedom to people who are trapped in the tyranny of the world system, the economy, gas prices, jobs, failed relationships, insecurity, and so many other things that rob us of our great life in Him. I would like to declare today a new day of Freedom and Independence from that tyranny and ushering in the rulership of the King Abba along with His Sons.

What is love?

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 19:57:14 GMT

This past weekend, I attended my first wedding for the summer. It was really sweet and very small and intimate. During the ceremony, the preacher, in a robotic tone of voice, read out his dissertation on love.

Now, I understand that love is so much more than an emotion, and that to trust only one's emotions is just asking for trouble...but this guy was talking about how love is a commitment to grow. Maybe I'm just taking things to extremes but, yeah commit to growing, but don't neglect your heart in the process. The emotions are there for a reason, and while it's important to understand that they are ever changing based on circumstances, neglect, and one's ability to protect and nourish one's heart...it just seems that to divorce (yeah I think that's a fitting word) love from romance and emotions and just focus on staying together and growing is just missing the boat altogether.

A lot of times, the evangelical community is very much guilty of an overemphasis on growth. We always ask questions like, "so what's God doing in your life?" and if you talk about how God's growing you, then you're cool. It's like, "hey don't bother building any kind of real relationship, let's just be real spiritual, because let's face it, everything else is gonna fade away." Do real people in the world ever come up to each other and say, "hey how are you growing today?" Maybe I'm jaded, but I just don't think that relationship minded people really go around talking about how they are growing.

Growth is definitely part of the Christian walk, no doubt. I had this thought a couple of months ago, that oftentimes, in prayer, we go to God and just create a giant to-do list for things that He needs to fix in us, in others, or in the world. It's like when we do that we're giving so much attention to "fixing" or "growth" that we don't have time for relationship. Here's a crazy idea: what if in our prayers we had so much time being given to relationship that we didn't have time to talk to God about how we need to grow? What if God's idea of growth looked like growing closer in relationship rather than us growing better in righteousness? What if out of relationally connecting with God, we could pray His prayers for the things that He wants to work on in us so that we can better relate to Him? I really don't think God is all that concerned about our righteousness. (that's a hyperbole just so you know)

Ever thought that God has emotions? In fact, I'd say He's more emotional (not meaning that He makes decisions based on emotions)than any other being ever. I wonder what it's like for Him? What do you think?